Time To Go Now Guilt

So Guilt, we’ve been tight companions for such a long time now. I carry you everywhere. You’re familiar and comfortable, we know each other so very well.

But you know, you are a heavy backpack. I’m getting tired. Really tired.

I’m just going to set you down here, by the side of the trail. Just for a time. Let’s call it a trial separation.

I know, I know. You’re shocked.

“But I’ve served you so well,” you say. “I remind you of so many things – what you should be doing, where you need to be, who you need to take care of, of the many things you’ve left undone.”

Yes, you’re always whispering in my ear, letting me know how I should improve. Sternly, you remind me of the many people who suffer, how much worse life could be, and that therefore I should not aspire for more.

You are so articulate when you outline the many reasons I need to shut up and get back to work.

It occurs to me now, perhaps underneath your dexterous explanations lurk that old patriarchal Christian cliche:  “Idle hands are the devil’s work.”

But I don’t believe in that one. Or do I? You’ve certainly found ways to make it seem true.

For just a little while I’m going to cut you loose Guilt – along with your sidekick, Regret.

I know you don’t need me. You’re just fine hanging out there, heavy and solid like the rocks beside you.

But it’s funny, even though I’m so much lighter setting down that pack, I feel a little lost without your familiar weight.

Maybe I don’t need you either, Guilt. I’m going to take a chance and move on without you for a few days. I know you’ll be right here waiting for me if I change my mind.

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4 Comments

Filed under Introspection, Uncategorized

4 responses to “Time To Go Now Guilt

  1. Hi Sarah,

    Guilt and regret – what we could do if we didn’t have those two hanging around. I find that when things don’t turn out or something happens with our kids that we weren’t expecting, we look to ourselves as the first to blame. Moms take on so much and it seems to be our role in life to feel responsible for everything and everyone, even our adult children. It is so freeing to just let go of all that. Everyone is happier. Loved your angle in your post!

  2. Love this post! The one benefit I have found from getting older – is laying down the backpack. It’s much harder when you have children at home – but learning to say “no” to good causes is saying “yes” to something else…usually our sanity and well-being. Love the way you wrote this.

  3. I love this Sarah! I can definitely identify with the “idle hands” quote. Sometimes I wonder where the programming really comes from that says we have to be doing all the time. I think we’re on a joint quest to replace some doing with some much needed being.

    I love how you wrote this to guilt. Perfect!

    • I’m so glad you ‘got’ this one Paige. It’s true we are both on this quest to ‘be’ a little rather than ‘do’ so much. And a difficult quest it is! (At least for me.) I woke in the middle of the night with these lines going through my mind – speaking directly to Guilt. So decided to post this – in the hopes that Guilt would actually listen. (Jury’s still out on that one…:-) ) Really happy you enjoyed it.

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