Today I pulled the Angel Card, Celebration. I don’t think I’d ever gotten that card before (it’s part of the new expanded Angel Card deck) and I love it. A spiffy-looking angel all dressed up and dancing. Celebrate!
And I thought, of course! I do have good reason to celebrate.
I’ve made it to the end of the month and actually stuck to the two commitments I set for myself. I took 10 minutes each and every day to sit in a silent meditation. And I’ve posted on this blog a minimum of six days a week. (I started out hoping to post every single day this month – but I revised that when I realized I needed to factor in a day off on the weekends.)
This didn’t begin on the first day of the year – as I was still traveling and crashing on friends’ living room floors. But I’ve stuck to the plan for 25 days now. There’s that adage that it takes 28 days to change a habit, so does that mean three more days of daily meditation will turn me into a lifelong meditator? I hope so, but something tells me I’ll still have to push myself on those days that don’t start out so smoothly.
Because of the daily meditation practice, I actually have done some writing day. My ritual includes writing a page in my meditation journal after picking my three Angel Cards. I wanted to track that I’d actually meditated each day – but writing a page or two has turned out to be an invaluable part of the process.
Monkey mind chatters away through the 10 minutes of quiet of course. I haven’t been able to shut her up, even after 25 days. And I guess the incessant yammering is something I’ll have to learn to accept as part of it all. Sometimes while I’m sitting, attempting to focus on my breath and polishing each chakra, a dream from the night before, or some inspiration, will pop through via monkey mind.
The journal time gives me a chance to capture any insights that may have occurred while supposedly meditating. I know, I know I’m not supposed to be brainstorming or getting insights during the meditation. But at this point I’ll take them whenever they surface. Perhaps someday my meditations will take me into a deeper and more quiet place. The only way to find out is to keep it up I guess.
That will be challenging next month when I head to a friend’s place in Hawaii for a couple of weeks. But, since one of my big goals is frequent travel, and another is staying with a regular meditation practice, I guess it’s time to see how the twain can meet. Maybe I won’t have the perfect solitary setting with my candle, smudge stick and angel cards. So I’ll begin to train myself to take my silent time in airport alcoves and bathroom stalls.
As for the (almost) daily writing here on this blog – what a valuable experiment! Many mornings I chafed at the perceived ‘chore’ of writing a post. Feeling uninspired, and unmotivated I still started typing and some surprising ideas and pieces of writing have emerged.
If I hadn’t set this commitment, I may have let the days slip by without ever writing out any responses to the prompts in A Year With Myself. (I have a bad habit of taking in information, but rarely acting on it by doing suggested exercises – instead just searching around for more words to consume. This is why I never seem to make lasting changes despite all the personal development books I’ve read.)
Writing those responses has led me to new unexplored rooms in my psyche and in my writing. It’s also allowed me to connect with more interesting women exploring some of these same issues.
As much as I resisted getting to the actual writing, almost invariably once I got going I got lost in the process. Maybe I’ll always face a resistant inner critic when I sit down to write, but I’m learning to work with her. And the more I just do it, the more I understand how much the writing feeds me.
So, although I don’t think I’ll continue to write every, single day on this blog, I do want to commit to posting at least twice a week.
Or to commit to writing on whatever this blog evolves into. I’m percolating all sorts of ideas on how to put my different writing activities and passions together. I love the more creative, free-form style of writing I do here on Grown Up Mom. And my goal (dream?) is to somehow put it together with the work I am doing over at Wellness The Natural Way. I just don’t do well with spreading myself too thin.
I’m thinking of putting it all together in one big, beautiful blog or web site. But I do worry that such a blog would be too unfocused. Should Grown Up Mom just stay it’s own separate (and more private) blog? These are some of the questions I’m wrestling with now.
I’d love feedback from you about this idea of somehow merging my two projects.
When I pulled those cards this morning, I asked the question, “How do I want to show up for myself and the world today?” The three cards were Love, Support and Celebration.
So, here’s a big old love kiss out to you and the world, I welcome and appreciate your support. Let’s celebrate!